Preventing suicide: life is precious

In the course of my therapy work and as a friend, I have talked with many whose lives were devastated by injury and loss, from violence or by accident, or by the suffering of severe mental and physical illnesses. At some point I am sometimes asked, “Why must I go through this seemingly endless journey of misery? I want it to stop. Tell me why I shouldn’t kill myself”

“Life is precious,” is the first thing that I say.

When someone reveals to us that he or she is contemplating or planning to commit suicide, a duty arises in all of us to provide a period of protection and serious reexamination of his life, his attitudes and beliefs and his available repertoire of living and coping skills. For many, suicide is a fleeting thought; one that subsides when the triggering crisis is over or that loses its intensity as depression lifts or after one recovers from illness. For others, suicide can remain a daily or recurrent preoccupation, rising and falling with the small victories and painful losses that come with a life that is often beset with pain.

According to statistics compiled by the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death in the United States, resulting in more deaths annually than by homicide. While females make more attempts, males account for seventy-two percent and whites account for over ninety percent of the total. The sub-groups most vulnerable are teenage boys and older males.

Before committing suicide the attempter may give hints to friends and family, but his intent and self-destructive plans may slip below the radar of our daily conversation. Many will consult their physician or another health professional. It is up to us, friends and family, to probe a little deeper when we are told of suffering that seems to have no end, or when behavioral changes, such as withdrawal, substance abuse, or suddenly giving away one’s property signals that something final is about to happen. Health providers need to ask about psychological health, and follow-up when patients admit that they are depressed, or that they have been thinking about taking their lives. In general, current suicide risk can be predicted by past suicidal attempts, severe depression with feelings of hopelessness, intoxication or substance abuse, and the presence of unremitting stressors, especially when the means to suicide are readily available.

How can we help someone survive through a period of suicidal despair?

When self-destructive thinking intensifies, one may also need the constant presence and protection of family and friends, to see him through the storm. Psychotherapy can often help relieve the pressure to harm oneself. When urges override his capacity to choose life, then hospitalization must be considered.

In dealing with a potential suicide, we must try to make time our ally. Talking for hours with a loved one, sitting on the edge, we must ask them to defer their decision to die, and hope that other, more positive and healing influences and possibilities will come to light, allowing us to fix problems and formulate new strategies that will give some momentum to enable a choice to live.

Call on the people you love and share with them the joy of life, yours and theirs. Be available to others in need and ask for help when you need it. Choose to live!

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